Jebus Take The Wheel -This Okie Cayn't Steer!

So today I've been contemplating the implications of the song "Jesus Take the Wheel" by Carrie Underwood. People underestimate how ridiculously off base this song really is. It contains serious implications, the least of which not being that Jesus can operate a motor vehicle. Let's focus on the premise, shall we? So a young girl, ahem hillbilly girl, and her bumpkin baby jet off into the night in icy weather. So problem 1: She knowingly ventures out into the cold, snowy night and apparently has no regard for weather reports. Problem 2: She's running low on faith (aren't we all) AND gasoline. Well honey, one of those is actually relevant to driving and easy to solve. It's called pull over and fill up the tank. Then she goes on to say that she hits a patch of black ice and both their lives flash before her eyes. Not sure how much of a life that baby has lived, but apparently it was enough to cause a flash. So her reaction to the black ice is what worries me, cue problem 3: She throws her hands in the air when hitting black ice. Now, I'm no driving expert but from what I recall from driver's ed, when hitting black ice and losing control, you don't jerk the wheel right or left but you maintain a steady grip on the wheel. You definitely don't let go and implore Jesus to take over. Also, she claims that she can't do this on her own. What? Drive? Well perhaps you shouldn't get behind the wheel of a car, sweetheart, and tout that license around like you know somethin when apparently you cayn't drive! So after her car skids off to the shoulder because Jesus steered it there, she turns around and sees her baby "soundly sleeping." Sleeping or dead from an invisible to the eye broken neck? So problem 4: She assumes too much and is a neglectful mother. You must check for a pulse. But I have two bigger issues with this song that are implied. 1) Jesus can operate a motor vehicle. False. He did many things during his 33 years, including two of my favorites, in order: Turning water into wine and raising the dead. But he did NOT get his driver's license. So that's actually quite dangerous, letting Jesus take the wheel. 2) Jesus cares about Carrie Underwood's late night black ice antics. False. Jesus doesn't even care about kids in Africa with AIDS. Yet, he finds time to steer a car? That's such bullshit. "Oh I'm sorry African child who's lost both parents to AIDS and is starving to death while battling malaria. Jesus really wanted to make it tonight to turn this pile of shit into something edible and convert this parasitic water into koolaid, but he's currently driving an old beater around an icy back country road. Maybe next time, though." Guh. Carrie Underwood should be more responsible in her song choices. Officially the worst. song. ever.